Rituals for Life's Moments
I love to create rituals that mark the meaning of occasions. Many folks are not part of religious or spiritual communities and still need and want ways to mark important moments in their lives. I value the opportunity to work with people to understand for themselves what a moment means and then create the ways to mark the meaning of the moment. I learned this first as a college chaplain, when I was asked to participate in college traditions and events. Often I was asked to say a prayer or give an invocation or benediction. Since these weren't religious occasions, nor were all those attending of any and certainly not the same religion, I did not feel it was appropriate to speak from my own religious tradition. So I began asking myself, what is this event? why are we having it? what does it mean for those participating and those watching? These questions began to guide me in thinking of ritual as marking the meaning of the moment. ​​
I look forward to helping create the ritual that is right for you, for whatever the moment of your life.
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Funerals, Memorial Services, and Celebrations of Life
Marking the End of a Relationship, a Job, a Home
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Weddings and Vow Renewals
How amazing to find someone with whom to share your love and life! Your story is uniquely yours, and your wedding should be, too. The ceremony is the time when you are fully present, making and receiving promises and symbols. It is a sacred celebration to mark the commitment you will make to each other. Cynthia will meet with both of you to hear your story, learn what and who matters to you, and shape a ceremony that is just right for the two of you and whoever will be there with you.
There can be a lot of pressure surrounding the planning of a wedding--childhood dreams, expectations of families, not to mention the websites and magazines describing how to make your perfect wedding. But none of that ever seems to address the ritual itself, what it means to the two who will be committing themselves to each other. That is where I want to help. I ask questions, listen to the stories, and draw out what this means for each person, and for the two together. Sometimes the wedding looks familiar, and sometimes it is completely new. Through our conversations, though, couples learn the reason for each part (beyond, "that's the way it is always done!") and for the choices of words. I will help create a ceremony that marks the meaning of the occasion for you, a wedding that is personal, meaningful, and sacred.
I am able to officiate weddings of any size. I have married couples who are non-religious, religious, of different religions; couples who are of the same or different genders; couples who have never been married before and couples where one or both were married before. I can legally marry couples, or I can create a ceremony that marks a commitment when legality isn't desired or needed. I love to find ways to include children (I don't mean as ring bearers and flower girls, though that can be wonderful). I mean when one or both of the partners have children, it can be important to include them in meaningful ways.
Renewal of Vows
Those who have made vows to one another in the past have likely had those vows tested. It can be so meaningful to renew those vows, acknowledging what life has brought to your union and recommitting for what lies ahead.
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Remembrance Gatherings (aka Funerals, Memorial Services, Celebrations of Life)
We lose people we love, and it is always hard. The rituals of remembering are important in acknowledging their life and in acknowledging our grief. There are a couple of things I hear frequently--"We're not religious, so we aren't going to have a funeral," and "There aren't many people left who would come, so we aren't going to do anything," or "They didn't want a funeral." We have rituals when someone dies because as human beings, we need to pause, acknowledge this loss and celebrate the life, and begin the process of grieving. This is a human thing, not a religious thing. Religions do have ways to do this, of course, but it is something we all need, whether or not we are religious or spiritual. Such gatherings can be for one person or many--the number isn't what matters, it is the intention to mark the meaning of the moment. As for the sticky one of, "She didn't want a funeral," well, if the people who are left need something, they should have something. I am not advocating going against all wishes, but I firmly believe that it is okay to find a way to celebrate and remember someone when they have died. There are ways to do this and be respectful of their wishes.
Welcoming Children
When a child enters your family, you need and want to welcome them, bless them, and ask your family and friends to join you in this important moment. While many religions have rituals for this time, they man not right for everyone. Working with Cynthia, you can craft an experience that is personal to your child, your circle of family and friends.
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Each time a baby comes into a family, there is a heightened awareness of the **preciousness* and wonder of life. We instinctively want to surround families as they are reshaped and reformed by the addition of a new person or persons. Many families who are not part of religious communities think that this not something available to them, or may not even realize that it would be meaningful to them. Let me help you create a ritual that works for your family. We will talk together about what this moment means, and then we will imagine the rituals and symbols and words that bring the meaning to life.